Olympics - Seriously
I've got solutions but first a rant or two.
A couple of years ago, a certain Canadian sprinter decided to inject horse 'roids so as to squeeze a couple of extra hundredths of a second off his 100M time. This along with the audacity to allow himself to get caught set in motion the Dubin inquiry which cleaned up our Canadian athletic system.
Here we are in the following century and this drug-free system has resulted (or not resulted) in an astonishingly poor performance at the Athens Games.
Here's the problem: We need to bring one drug back into athletics - just one.
When children have difficulty paying attention, adults can administer RITALIN. Our athletes really could use some. Especially the following - considering some of the World Champions we were supposed to have in our contingent.

• Men's Eights rowing World Champs
• Did they not know when the race was. They lost by 10 seconds.
• Men's Doubles rowing
• Couldn't stay focused enough to finish the race in their own lane
• Women's Eights rowing
• Didn't even make the final, seemed to forget to make the trip
• Perdita Felicien Hurdles World Champion
• She has hurdled all her life, knows that about 9 of them will show up evenly spaced every race. Didn't see that first one did you?
• Christine Nordhagen Wrestling World Champion
• Never heard of her, but that is because none of us have ever watched womens wrestling. 5 time world champ, 1st time event at the Olympics - no one told her and she lost in her first match. Thanks for coming out.
• Emilie Heymans Diving World Champion
• In the medals till the last dive. When I was younger I would have killed to be able to splash as much as she did on that last one. I know I can't judge diving, (my understanding was that splitting your head open on the platform would be a huge deduction, but some guy won the gold medal after doing that - so what do I know), but I know she wasn't paying attention.
• Nicolas Macrozanaris 100M
• Good Canadian boy - with greek background. Not even close to his personal best. Must have stopped at his ancestor's place for a big meal.
• Trampoline Girl World Champion
• The world's best female bouncer somehow couldn't bounce straight. Luckily still got a silver out of that
• Mark Boswell High Jump World Champion
• Came in 6th, failing on a height he has passed three hundred times in his career. Last time he was too young, next time he'll be too old. This was it and he couldn't bring it.
• Swimmer - pick one, pick them all
• How many personal bests? How many Canadian records? Or that never mentioned North American Records. We've got none now.
• Gymnasts
• How 'bout not falling. That must have been an important skill taught over and over during the thousands of hours of training leading up to this moment.
• Child & Heese Beach Volleyball
• Didn't want to mention them, but they were 2 points away from the semis and a likely medal. Great right up to that point, then got distracted by those girls in the bikinis. Good effort up to that ... hey are you listening to me?
• Macdonald & Wolf Sailing
• Thought I don't pay attention to all sports - think again. Here's the situation halfway through the 11 race regatta running smoothly in second place overall. They collided with the Bermuda Boat. Not kidding. http://www.tsn.ca/olympics/news_Story.asp?ID=96117

Sorry if I forgot anyone.